The Music That Saved Me: How Songs Mark Our Personal History
Music isnt just sound. Its memory. A single note, a familiar melody, and suddenly, youre somewhere else. A moment you thought youd forgotten comes rushing back. A version of yourself, younger, unguarded, still untouched by the things that would come later. The right song at the right time can feel like a lifeline, a friend, a prayer whispered back to you when you need it most.
In A Yellow Rose in Thorns Clothing, Lana Lees life is stitched together with music. Not just background noise, but signposts, reminders of who she was and what she survived. Love, heartbreak, reinvention... Every chapter had a song. Every song held a piece of her story.
Content
The Songs That Numb the Pain
The Theme Songs of Reinvention
The Nostalgic Melodies That Take Us Back
Music as a Lifeline
Final Thoughts: Whats Your Song?
A Yellow Rose in Thorns Clothing
The Soundtrack of First Love
First love is like a song you cant stop playing. The same rush. The same longing. The same quiet devastation when it ends.
For Lana, music was part of every early crush, every romantic hope. She was just a teenager when she first fell for Alan, the boy in her biology class. He had a girlfriend, but that didnt stop her from dreaming. Every time Best of My Love by The Eagles played on the radio, she let herself imagine...what if? The song became a secret, a wish, a little world where things had turned out differently.
Later, with Howardher first husbandmusic became something they shared. Evenings spent listening to Fleetwood Mac, ABBA, Gerry Rafferty. But love, like songs, doesnt always last. After the divorce, Hotel California turned from something she loved to something that haunted her. The lyrics didnt change, but the meaning did. Thats the danger of music... It can hold memories youre not ready to relive.
The Songs That Numb the Pain
When heartbreak comes, sometimes the only thing that makes sense is a song that aches the way you do.
After her marriages unraveled, Lana was left trying to piece together who she was outside of the relationships that had defined her. Thats when music became an escape for her. The bars, the night air, the discovery of new sounds... Kansas, Foreigner, Styx, Van Halen. Loud, electric, defiant. Songs that didnt ask her to dwell on sadness but let her drown it out instead.
Thats the thing about music: it meets you where you are. When the grief is too much, it carries some of the weight for you. When words fail, lyrics step in. We all do this. We all turn to a song when life feels too big, too uncertain, too heavy. Let it sing for us when we cant. Make us feel seen.
The Theme Songs of Reinvention
Music doesnt just remind us of who we were. Sometimes, it helps us become someone new.
For Lana, I Will Survive by Gloria Gaynor wasnt just a song. It was a battle cry. After everything, after all the heartbreak and loss, she needed to believe in her own strength. Singing along was about reclaiming something. A reminder that she wasnt defined by the people who had hurt her. That she wasnt just the girl who once believed love could fix everything. That she had survived. That she would keep surviving.
We all have songs like this. These are the ones that lift us up when we forget how to stand. The ones that tell us, over and over again, that we are more than the pain weve endured.
The Nostalgic Melodies That Take Us Back
Some songs never really leave us. Years can pass, but the first notes play, and suddenly, youre right back where you were.
For Lana, certain songs pull her into the past. Sonny & Cher remind her of childhood. The Monkees transport her to a time when life still felt like it had neat, predictable edges. Even the painful songs...the ones tied to heartbreak.... They carry something worth holding onto. Cold As Ice by Foreigner brings back the memories of crushes who never saw her, but also of a girl who was still figuring out who she was.
Thats what music does. It holds onto our stories, even the ones we think weve forgotten.
Music as a Lifeline
Lanas story isnt just about the things she lost. Its about what she found. Things like strength, resilience, the ability to keep moving forward. And music was part of that.
In the hardest moments, when everything else felt uncertain, music was something to hold onto. A way to escape, a way to feel, a way to heal. Even now, after everything, music is still there. A thread connecting her past to her present, proof that every version of herselfthe hopeful girl, the heartbroken woman, the survivoris still in there somewhere, singing along.
Final Thoughts: Whats Your Song?
We all have one. A song that saved us. A song that reminds us of who we used to be or who we want to become.
For Lana, it was I Will Survive.
For you, maybe its something else. But no matter what, the music is always there, waiting for you. Ready to remind you. Ready to heal you. Ready to save you, if you let it.
A Yellow Rose in Thorns Clothing
Im not famous. Im not a celebrity. Im a normal person like most of you. This book is a record of my memories and experiences from a young child until I was thirty-seven and met my third husband in between. I faced challenges, made some questionable choices, suffered the consequences, and persevered. Im still here to talk about it. I felt like it was important to share this story as Im sure many people can relate. I hope to provide encouragement, empathy, and support. None of us are perfect. Weve all made our mistakes. We may not be forgiven by the general public, but most importantly, we have to forgive ourselves. It is never too late to change the path that we are on, and it is never time to give up. I hope that you find inspiration from this book.
